You’ve made my day! No, really, you have! Your comment has it all!

- A fake email address, suggesting an assumption that I couldn’t possibly want to talk with you personally or care to know your perceptions or ideas (and thus cutting off the possibility).

- An assumption that either I or Dr. Martin Seligman believe in “either/or” thinking, or that pessimists don’t care as much, or don’t have good ideas, or engage in less rigorous thinking thinking than optimists. (None is true, and I thought had explicitly expressed thoughts to the contrary, but oh well.)

- An assumption that Martin Seligman is a practitioner in “pop psychology.” He’s one of the most esteemed psychological researchers of his generation, and his book summarizes decades of peer-reviewed research. Dr. Seligman DESPISES pop psychology with a passion, ‘cuz it doesn’t really work and it gives real science a bad name by association.

- An assumption that I can’t empathize with “negative” people. Boy, do I empathize! I’m the son of a retired and rather pessimistic psychology professor/researcher. I inherited, some of my father’s intellectual habits, a lot of his revulsion regarding pop psychology/pseudo-science, AND I inherited his pessimistic approach to life. I know very well both the good fruits of pessimism (yes, there are good fruits!) and the negatives.

I’ve been learning to apply Seligman’s principles of “learned optimism” over the past few years. I can tell you, from personal experience and observation, pessimists can add important observations to any discussion, but only rarely do folks other than optimists take the next step of going out and changing things! (There are some scientifically-validated reasons for this tendency, by the way.)

Fred, or whomever you are: Your pessimism prevented you from contacting me personally and telling me what you think needs to happen. That’s one of the defining traits of pessimism: Ideas, sometimes great ideas, never brought to fruition.

How about contacting me at harmonizer@barbershop.org and sharing some of your insights and ideas for making things better? I might even be able to put you in touch with some of the folks who have the power to work with you and bring your ideas to fruition!

We’re going to just have to agree to disagree on the negativity. I don’t see any good fruits from a “gloom and doom” approach to life. Realism only seems more realistic because it lends itself to self-fulfilling prophecies. Optimists, with a few pessimists around to keep them grounded, simply create a better kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

That was the point of my post. I invite your ideas and feedback!

Instead of relying on “pop psychology” he might consider investing in some skill-building in empathizing with all those “negative” people that want to see things get better, and in transforming his own energy into working with a diverse group of people to “do” something specific rather to “stop” doing something vaguely labelled and which he personally has judged as not valuable.

Happy New Year!

Nice article, and a good reminder to think of the possibilities. The glass really is half-full for many chapters. I invited a friend awhile ago…a decent singer and a great guy, but I was surprised when he joined. He’s having a great time, and he regularly thanks me for inviting him. I thought he’d come and sing with us for one night and be done…wrong! A lesson learned.

Roger

Make a new pledge to Harmony Foundation. Greet everyone at your chapter meeting with enthusiasm and good will. Ask your neighbor – again – to come with you to a chapter meeting.

And smile, boys! Always!

Together we can make this happen! In Harmony!

I’ve heard it stated more succinctly:

“People join and contribute to successful organizations. Few people want to join or contribute to an organization that require their help to succeed. The perception of success is critical.”